jhortenz

Sonic the Hedgehog: The Jonathan Hortenz Review

After my tirade against (ugh) Lord Mikenificent in my last review, I feared that my tenure here at the Fictosphere had come to an end and to my deep surprise I discovered that I did not want this to be the case. As the months passed, this seemed increasingly to be the case and soContinue reading “Sonic the Hedgehog: The Jonathan Hortenz Review”

Cats: The Jonathan Hortenz Review

I was overjoyed this week when Mikenificent (I refuse to acknowledge his alleged lordship and the fact I refer to him by such a ridiculous name bruises my sanity) contacted me and told me he was sending me a ticket to see “that new movie everyone’s been talking about for months” because I assumed heContinue reading “Cats: The Jonathan Hortenz Review”

Joker: The Jonathan Hortenz Review

My taskmasters at the Fictosphere have taken pity on me and sent me tickets to see Joker several weeks after its release. While this site has already reviewed it, they rightfully requested that a professional offer his more qualified opinion. I do find it somewhat limiting that my life is now controlled by a trioContinue reading “Joker: The Jonathan Hortenz Review”

IT Chapter Two: The Jonathan Hortenz Review

Greetings, dear readers. Several days ago, I was contacted by those who run this site and told they were sending me a free ticket to see the “new scary clown movie” and so I prepared myself for a viewing of Joker which, I gather, is a film about the origins of a murderous clown whichContinue reading “IT Chapter Two: The Jonathan Hortenz Review”

Jonathan Hortenz’s Movie Moment: Guardians of the Galaxy

Jonathan Hortenz, very begrudgingly, has recovered his first (and thus far only) podcast appearance for the Fictosphere in which he discusses the then-upcoming Guardians of the Galaxy. At least, that was his plan. He lamented a number of things about this podcast but we’re trying to get him to do another one for us. YouContinue reading “Jonathan Hortenz’s Movie Moment: Guardians of the Galaxy”

Tokyo Drift: An Odd Duck

I have been asked by my taskmasters to present some of my work as a neophyte critic and to that end I present to you one of my first reviews intended entirely for the Internet. A certain website asked me some years ago to choose something in a film franchise which, ultimately, became the oddContinue reading “Tokyo Drift: An Odd Duck”

Once Upon a Time in Hollywood: The Jonathan Hortenz Review

Salutations. My name is Jonathan Hortenz, formerly of a small independent newspaper whose name I am legally obligated not to speak. I was employed by them as their film critic, but in this day and age the musings of aficionados like myself are seemingly less important than a review pulled from a fruit-based website. MyContinue reading “Once Upon a Time in Hollywood: The Jonathan Hortenz Review”