The Friend Zone; or, How to Stop Whining and Be a Man

So, this is a post that I made to Facebook on June 22, 2014.  It popped up on my feed yesterday, all as part of some sort of “Hey, remember the 80’s?!”-style initiative that Facebook is doing these days.  It was written shortly after I ended my engagement with an especially toxic cheater, and was single for a minute. 

The post tackles the mythical claptrap known as The Friendzone.  Some people (women) call The Friendzone a misogynist concept, but I personally feel that calling it such gives it too much credibility; the word “misogynist” implies a degree of manhood somewhere.

Feel free to disagree with me, but The Friendzone is a concept that only Millennials (sadly, my generation) could have conceived.  It’s whiny, entitled, and smacks of weakness and cowardice.  It’s really the other side to “ghosting”, which is a concept I have discussed previously.

Yes, I realize I call it the “friend zone” in the post. No, I don’t know which of these spellings of the word/concept/Atlantis-analog is correct, because I’m not a pansy.

And now this intro is longer than the post itself.


DEFINITION OF “THE FRIEND ZONE” (from Urban Dictionary):

When a girl decides that you’re her friend, you’re no longer a dating option. You become this complete non-sexual entity in her eyes, like her brother, or a lamp.

Friend1: Are you still with that girl?
You: We’re just friends.
Friend2: A moment of silence for our brother in the friend zone.

#girl#boy#friend#zone#friendzone#love#bitch

by rodjak October 11, 2012

To all those men who complain about being friend zoned:


What’s the matter with you?!

Some companies send out mass mailings of free samples of a new product in order to drum up new customers. Typically, it’s only one sample. That one sample can only be used for a short period of time, because it’s a sample and samples run out eventually. If you like the product, chances are you’ll go out and pay for it once the sample runs out. If you don’t like the product, you’ll either stick with what you currently use or you’ll look elsewhere. Maybe what’s elsewhere or what you currently use are inferior products in the end to the sample you used, but that’s your problem; the company’s only sending out one free sample. If you want more, it won’t be free–because you won’t buy something that you can otherwise get for free.

In much the same way, let your patience, your kindness, your gentle nature, your understanding, your shoulder to cry on, your affection, your love–let those be nothing more than free samples. If a woman wants what you have to give, she will give you what you give her in equal measure, because the price of love is love in return. But if she places you in the “friend zone”, she’s not buying what you’re selling. So stop sending her free samples. Let her look elsewhere, or stick with an inferior product. Move onto other customers, and in doing so retain some of your dignity and self-esteem in the process.

Let no one take advantage of your better nature. Ever.

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